Firdaus Tarmizi

Archive for the ‘Sarcasm’ Category

Things I Love to Hate

In Politic, Sarcasm on July 10, 2011 at 12:54 pm

How many of you like doing something that you know you’ll hate?  I am guilty of a few of these brainless activities.  This is my brand of mental sadomasochism at it’s finest.  For example:

1.  I love watching the mainstream media, although I know I’ll be totally disgusted by the biased and obviously scripted “news”. News 1: bad news in opposition state, News 2: bad news in opposition state, News 3: good news in Melaka.  News 1:  “Lim Guan Eng hantar MPPP belasah kakak Melayu jual pasembor”, News 2:  “Khalid Ibrahim pinjamkan lori kepada pencuri pasir”, followed by News 3: “Pelancaran Program Mesra Rakyat Terbuki Kerajaan BN 1Sayang 1Rakyat 1Malaysia in Pekan, Pahang”.  Rinse and repeat.  I call this my “Sesi Menyakitkan Hati”.

2.  I love to hate listening to Rais Yatim.  I purposefully search videos of Rais Yatim in Youtube so I can cringe at his perfect Bahasa Melayu.  He also has this tendency to look smug at the end of his answers, because he knows he successfully confused the questioner.  From him, I learned the value of using perfect-sounding Bahasa to totally hide the fact that you have no idea what you are talking about.  Case in point:


Kudos if you can summarize, in 1 sentence, what he’s really trying to say.

3.  I love to read forums and political blogs in Malaysia.  How can you not enjoy the sight of cyber warriors from both sides doing their best to totally ignore the points made by the opposite side, while enthusiastically attacking the personality and, sometimes, even the nicknames and the faces of their opponents?  Sheer class.  Lift my hopes up for the future of intellectual discourse in Malaysia.

4.  Lastly,  I love to surf the Facebook, despite knowing I will hate myself later judging people.  I recently found out how FB is the perfect place for you to be judgmental on people you don’t really know, based on their status updates and likes.  A Muslim who liked Bersih 2.0 page?  You are a brainwashed traitor to Islam who are led through the nose by the, I quote, “Ambiga keling paria haramjadah”.  Posted a picture of your child on FB?  You are an overly proud parent who wants to show off your baby who is not that cute anyway.  I’ve vowed to myself a few times to quit FB and delete my account, but alas I am just a weak Muslim who are brainwashed to love Facebook, a Jewish capitalist product.


Names blacked out to protect identity of people involved

P.S.:  Extra brownie points if you see what I did between point 2 and point 3.