Firdaus Tarmizi

Archive for February, 2014|Monthly archive page

What Will They First Remember?

In Family, Parenthood on February 4, 2014 at 8:17 pm

1.  I always wonder at what point will my son start to remember things.  What actual event will he be able to recall in adulthood?

Will he remember dancing like nobody’s watching?


2.  I worry about this because my son is nearly 4, and I do a lot of weird shit in front of him.  Walking around just in boxers… doing number 2 with the door open…. taking my shower in the nude with him… or taking the shower in the nude with him, then stopping to do number 2, and then continuing to shower with him….

Will he remember being used for cheap labor?


3. The earliest memory that I have are these:

  • Lying on my back on the floor of the… kitchen?  The lights were off, and I was looking up to my mom, who called down to me from the second floor…
  • Running, in the dark, to the outhouse at grandma’s house. Just the memory of running as fast as I can and closing the door…
  • Crying at the front door, with a bag and a towel in my hand.  My mom was there, just watching me.  I think I was crying because I threatened to run away from home, and instead of panicking like I hope my mom would, she actually helped to pack my bags…
  • I remember running along the beach of Kampung Nelayan, when my foot stepped into a shallow hole…  a hole that was used by someone as their toilet the night before…
  • Sharing the use of the toilet with my sister.  We used a squatting toilet, so we had to squat back to back while doing our business…
  • Waiting in my dad’s Proton with my sister before going to kindy.  While we waited, we played with some snails.  I think we actually built some obstacle course for the snails to climb over…

4.    I’m sure there’s more, but those are the ones I remember vividly.  Is there a trigger, or reasons why those particular memories chose to remain?

5.  With these in mind, I wonder what my son will first remember.  Will he remember his mama putting him to sleep?  Will he remember his dad being too busy or lazy to play with him?  Will he remember riding on the bike with his Atok?

6.  I hope, whether the memory is good or bad, he will at least remember that I am around, all the time.


For sure I hope he remembers this!