Firdaus Tarmizi

True Story: Childhood Crimes Revealed (Part 1)

In Confessions, Family on July 12, 2011 at 9:00 pm

I am going to do something seldom done by others:  I’m going to confess my childhood crimes.  Most of the items in this list is already known by my parents, and had been the hot topic of many embarrassing conversations.  But some, I think, might have been kept hidden all these years, until now.

1.  The crime of counting while playing congkak.  Status:  Stopped by angry cousins.

You guys know congkak, right?  Malay traditional game, played using marbles and a wooden board with holes?  Popularized through the inane Congkak ghost movie?  No?  Here is what it looks like:

Congkak - from

Kira kak jangan tak kira.

My alleged crime was cheating by counting the marbles, hence predicting where the last marble will land.  Honestly, up until now, I have no idea why counting while playing congkak is considered cheating.  Without counting, wouldn’t it be a game of mindless grabbing of marbles and putting them in holes?  Where’s the strategy and tactics in that?

Anyway, due to this “cheating”, I would win against my sister more often that not.  The counting is done silently in your head, but if caught by your opponents, they will of course cry foul and protest vehemently.

I only realized that my cheating was making me unpopular when I played against my cousins.  Unhappy with my cheating, they actually plotted together by stealing the marbles from my store, and silently adding them to my opponents’, bit by bit.  To make matters worse, I didn’t realize it was happening until one of them actually TOLD me at the end of the game that they have been counter-cheating me, maybe just to spite me.  Kids can be so cruel sometimes.

2. The crime of “bantal botol” stealing.  Status: Exposed by the victim (sister).

Bantal Botol - from

Have you seen one of these adorable pillows before?

Someone gave my sister a baby-bottle pillow.  Being the evil big brother, I demanded to have the pillow also.  To solve this conflict, my father set up a turn system so my sister and I will share the bottle.  Monday:  My turn, Tuesday:  Sister’s turn, Wednesday:  Back to me, so on and so forth.

One day, I tried to cheat the system.  Before going to bed, I quickly took the pillow and put in on my sister’s bed.  Why?  Yes, to give the impression that she had the bottle the night before.  So, I can have the bottle two nights in a row!

Too bad my sister was not easily fooled.  We fought long and hard into the night, with indignant tears on both sides (I was also a good child actor).

The week after that, I got my own baby-bottle pillow.  Win!

3.  The crime of emptying the bottled water.  Status:  Made to confess by father.

The incident was simple.  I had to bring a bottle of water every day to school.  I hated drinking plain water back then, as opposed to the chemical-laced, colored sugary water they sold at the canteen.

Since my father will check the bottle at the end of each day, I cooked up the brilliant idea of simply pouring out the water before my father picked me up.

I can’t remember who exposed this simple yet brilliant scheme, but I do remember the whacking I got that night.

4.  Cheating in performing the solat.  Status:  Unknown.

This is a bit embarrassing to recall.  I also hated performing the solat back when I was in primary school.  Not that I hated the actual doing of the solat, but it is just that I had so many things to do apart from praying.

So, each time when I was told to perform the solat, I will obediently go take the wudhu and waited for my parents to show up.  As soon as I can hear their footsteps, I will straightaway go to the last part of the solat, and acted as if I have just finished.

And when my sister and I had our own separate rooms, I started to lock the door when I performed the solat.  Knowing that my sister will sometimes peek under the door, I responded by putting the prayer mat so that anyone peeking could see me standing as if doing my prayers  on my side of the door, when I was actually reading my comic book.

Peeking under the door - from

Who does this, really? My sister, apparently.

So, what do you think?  Am I going to hell for these sins?  LOL

  1. you sly fox!
    amik wudhu’ pun nak short-cut…ingat x?
    peh tu masa denda basuh pinggan pun sama,
    odd/even days duk tukar..

    yg intai bwh pintu tu mak ajar harharhar
    she peeked under my door and made fun of me sebab nampak bayang,
    walking back and forth in high heels, pretending to be a secretary ;p

    • ahhh demmit, I was going to write about the wudhu and dish washing cheating in part 2 hahhahaha

      sms me if you can remember any other of my “crimes”. I’m compiling them now

  2. hahah sorry!
    nanti tnye mak abah…sure laaaagi byk ;p

  3. What????? Banyaknya “crimes”…….Dear Hamzah..Please don’t be so “naughty” to your abah ok….;)

  4. […] forgot to finish this 2-part series, and was reminded by a colleague who just read the first entry here, and urged me to list the rest of my “crimes”, saying that some of them sound […]

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